Everything I ever needed to know I learned from watching Babylon 5.

Don't argue with superior beings.
Don't shoot people: The paperwork is a pain in the butt.
Sometimes Money and Power don't matter.
Know what you want in case somebody asks.
There's enough guilt in the world to go around without grabbing for more.
A hot jallah is better than Zima anyday!
Know all the laws and read the fine print.
No one is precisely what they appear to be.
Sometimes you are destined to spend the rest of your life paying for your mistakes.
The only truth in war is that people die.
If a GROPO tells you they're not scared they're either lying or dead.
"Why not" is a perfectly good reason.
Sometimes even Shadows can show us the way home.
Governments deal with matters of convenience, not conviction.
The future isn't what it used to be.
Beware of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
Go to the bathroom before you leave.
Bend the rules, but don't break them.
Sometimes the adventure comes to you.
The power of one mind can change the universe.
If you're making an encounter suit, design it so you can get into it quickly.
There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom.
Share your second favorite thing in the universe with a friend.
Look forward to the day when you have cleansed the universe of your enemy and carved their bones into flutes for your children to play.
Put the emphasis on Pleasure.
Half a dream is better than none.
The hunter and the hunted are not well defined.
Diplomacy is not a real job.
It'll take more than 100 years to evolve a better human.
Ivonova is god.
Love knows no borders.
If you offer someone a body part to slit, make certain it doesn't have a major artery.
Never hand someone a gun unless you're sure where they'll point it.
Sometimes "peace" is another word for surrender.
If you have to have sex with an alien, make sure you do it YOUR way!
Nothing beats a hot shower with real water.
The best way to understand someone is to fight him, make him angry, that's when you see the real person.
Somebody should have labeled the future 'Some assembly required.'
Of all things in life, females are the finest.
Stay close to the Vorlon.
Know all there is to know about your station.
Find something worth living for instead of something worth dying for.
Secrets have a way of getting out.
Don't touch unless you mean it.
Grab any chance you can get to take out a ship.
Reading is not substitute for experience.
Don't make promises life won't let you keep.
When you become obsessed with the enemy, you become the enemy.
When the avalanche has already started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote.
You cannot serve larger ideals by compromising smaller ones.
Laughter is better than pills for what ails you.
Retribution in inevitable.
There's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.
When watching someone, use both eyes. You'll need them.
Nobody is pure.
At the year's end, count how many people have survived and celebrate your good fortune.
If your dinner crawls off your plate, put it back and tell it to stay put.
Some things we are not ready for.
All beings are defined by their capacity and need for love.
Always leave a little room for people to disappoint you.
Say a prayer for the dying; say half a prayer for the agnostics.
Ignore the propaganda, focus on what you see.
Express your feelings.
The third principle of sentient life (i.e. the capacity for self-sacrifice the conscious ability to over-ride evolution and self-preservation for a cause, a loved one, or a friend.
It will all end in fire.
Calling it a "food plan" doesn't help.
Sure is for people with nothing on the line.
Beware magic tricks involving bartops.
Wear loose shoes and remember how to dance.
Sometimes, the necessary thing isn't the right thing.
Life is life, whether it's wrapped in skin, scales, or feathers.
A herring is just a herring, but a good cigar is a Cuban.
Trust individuals, not organizations.
Stay away from airlocks.
If you can't put a bag over his head, then just pull the wool over his eyes.
Don't argue if it's kosher, just eat it.
Confess your love, now, while you still have a chance.
Sometimes the act of searching is more important than what you're searching for.
Never fear answers; Fear running out of questions.
Talk softly and carry a big stick.
The future isn't what it used to be.
A stroke of the brush does not guarantee art from the bristles.
Sooner or later . . . BOOM!
The only good na'kaleen is a dead na'kaleen.
Don't believe everything you see and hear, escpecially the promos for next week.
There is beauty in the dark.
Properly used two meter long genitals can beat four aces.
Don't assume anything is just decoration.
If your food is still crawling you know you should cut down.
Beware Shadows. They move when you're not looking.
Some favours come at too high a price.
The universe runs through the complex interweaving of energy, matter, and enlightened self interest.
The Universe knows what it's doing.
Fasten, then zip.
Make sure your enemies know pain and know fear before they die.
Collect reflection, surprise, and terror for the future.
Don't touch yourself.
Never play poker with a Centauri.
Faith manages.
Some things one must do alone.
The universe holds many wonders: Be terrified and relieved that we have not explained everything yet.
There are some matters on which one feels compelled to take a vow of silence.
Do it Human Style whenever possible.
Understanding is a three edged sword.
Make love, not treaties.
Sometimes the impossible is possible.
Always have your people watching their people.
Always watch your back.
The longer a terrible secret is held, the more painful it is to reveal it.
Wash your hands after going to the bathroom or playing cards.
Sometimes, it's just not a good time to sing Kum-by-yah.
The Hokey Pokey really doesn't mean anything.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and one you should not fall asleep during.
Some things are better left buried.
Beauty and the Beast are in the eye of the beholder.
It is good to have friends, even if only for a little while.
The currents that look like they will make us stronger, they are the ones that will destroy us.
The last thing you need is a corporate lawsuit.
You can learn whatever you like.
What we hold sacred gives our lives meaning.
What makes us human is that we care, and because we care, we never stop trying.
One day they're shooting at you and the next they're taking you out to dinner.
Similarity is not required to express compassion
Whatever it is, it can't be that bad.
Don't take demands: consider requests.
Have a nice day.
We create the future with our words, with our thoughts, with our deeds, and with our beliefs.
Some changes can have unexpected consequences.
If you don't understand the song, then listen to the music.
Before waiting for an apology, be sure to check the temperature in hell.
Crab Nebula.
Enjoy your first hangover while you still remember it.
I will listen to Ivanova's suggestions.
Don't shake hands with strangers.
Don't stay to watch a great old ship go down.
The universe doesn't give you any points for doing things easily.
Saying you did something can be more effective than actually doing it (beep beep!).
It is noble to strive for the perfection of one's soul and the salvation of one's race.
We are startstuff.
Everybody lies, innocent or guilty. Each lies for their own reasons.
Be wary of gifts from friends you don't know you have.
We learn by doing, and in the process we fall on our faces occasionally.
We all do what we do because it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We shall be remembered in spite of ourselves.
Even if your choices are limited to Pestilence, Famine, or Death, it is always possible to make a wise decision. And finally . . . .
All of this is for nothing unless we go to the stars.