Cry Baby Claudia

A Colossus Poetry Production
Copyright 1997 by Eric Klien, Carl Martinez and Mark Ricketts
with special help from the University of Wyoming

      Hey dear fans I'm still alive!
      I did not quit Babylon 5.
      I begged to stay, 'though I was tired.
      Now I'm gone, I think I'm fired?

      I could not stay another day.
      I needed time off with full pay.
      I also needed this in writing.
      'cos JMS is known for lying.

      All the men made more than me
      They gave Vir a bigger fee.
      Yes he got more -- that stupid louse
      who was so fat in Animal House!

      I did not quit in secrecy.
      Not, without telling TNT!
      Never. Not sweet little me.
      And that article in Variety.
      I never was the source, you see.
      Poor, poor pitiful me.

      JMS, that stupid monster,
      made me read from the teleprompter.
      He was ever so cruel and mean
      that if I begged to be seen
      my part was always really lean --
      just, "Aye Captain" every scene.
      My salary was low. It was a joke.
      My savings waned when my car broke.
      I was drained. Nothing remained.
      I alone suffered as Babylon gained.

      Hey there, didn't you hear?
      I also want a movie career.
      Everybody loves me
      except, that is, for TNT
      Don't know why they're so mad --
      I did their stupid Babylon ad.

      And please remember, honey,
      the deal breaker was never money.
      I didn't need a dime.
      I just needed time.
      And... I like to whine!