Cry Baby Claudia
A Colossus Poetry Production
Copyright 1997 by Eric Klien, Carl Martinez and Mark Ricketts
with special help from the University of Wyoming
Hey dear fans I'm still alive!
I did not quit Babylon 5.
I begged to stay, 'though I was tired.
Now I'm gone, I think I'm fired?
I could not stay another day.
I needed time off with full pay.
I also needed this in writing.
'cos JMS is known for lying.
All the men made more than me
They gave Vir a bigger fee.
Yes he got more -- that stupid louse
who was so fat in Animal House!
I did not quit in secrecy.
Not, without telling TNT!
Never. Not sweet little me.
And that article in Variety.
I never was the source, you see.
Poor, poor pitiful me.
JMS, that stupid monster,
made me read from the teleprompter.
He was ever so cruel and mean
that if I begged to be seen
my part was always really lean --
just, "Aye Captain" every scene.
My salary was low. It was a joke.
My savings waned when my car broke.
I was drained. Nothing remained.
I alone suffered as Babylon gained.
Hey there, didn't you hear?
I also want a movie career.
Everybody loves me
except, that is, for TNT
Don't know why they're so mad --
I did their stupid Babylon ad.
And please remember, honey,
the deal breaker was never money.
I didn't need a dime.
I just needed time.
And... I like to whine!